by Craig Anderson
This year "Ugghhhhhhh" meets "YAR!!!"
Pittsburgh and zombies - It goes together like Carl and anywhere but inside the house. This Saturday, the dead will rise once again (this time in West End Village) as part of Zombiefest 2012. I had the chance recently to cross seven seas and three rivers to interview Cap’n Blackguts, Capitaine o’ The Bloody Seamen (this year's headliners)! Get yerself ready fer massive amounts o’ pirate-speak)
-Favorite zombie movie?
As farr as zombie movies go (wotevarr “movies” be, because you know… pirate), I like th’ original George Romero classic Night of the Living Dead. That started it all! Night of the Living Dead were th’ first film t’ make zombies flesh-eaters, plus tharr be a lot o’ pride with Romero bein’ from Pittsburgh an’ all. That bein’ said, Return of the Living Dead be pretty great too. Funny, gory, a great soundtrack… and o’ course, Linnea Quigley. Ah, Trash… now there be a sight fer sore eyes!
-Which would you rather face: Dawn of the Dead (2004) fast zombie horde, or Army of Darkness medieval undead army?
Army o’ Darkness, t’ be sure. Ash were a screw-up an’ ‘ee seemed t’ fare pretty well against th’ Deadites. If tharr be one thing The Bloody Seamen can do, it’s screw-up. Plus ye got swords, axes, wenches, an’ all sorts o’ stuff that be totally pirate ready.
-Pick one item in your house that you would take as a weapon in case of a zombie outbreak:
Rum. That’s not a weapon? Ok then, whiskey. Wait, that’s not a weapon either. Ok no booze… then I’d take me boardin’ axe. I calls her “Ol’ Skullsplitter”. She’ll split a zombie skull easy as anythin’. Of course a good rum’ll split a skull pretty easy too.
-Where in Pittsburgh would you locate your zombie apocalypse stronghold?
Easy one, mate. The Bloody Seamen ‘ave a ship in port an’ ready t’ go. We’d take wot we could, board th’ Santa Sangre, an’ spend th’ rest o’ th’ dark days cruisin’ th’ Rivers Three. Or maybe we’d just jaunt on down t’ Station Square an’ “commandeer” th’ Majestic. Either way, we’ll live on t’ re-populate th’ Earth. Ladies, send up a flare. We’ll find ye. PS - Bring rum, aaaaaand probably soap.
-Pick one album to be your soundtrack for the zombie apocalypse
Well I’ll tell ye. It’s impossible t’ listen to Zombi’s album “Cosmos” without thinkin’ ‘bout smashin’ brains in a zombie wasteland. I’d pick that one. It’ll keep morale up in tryin’ times.
-Which band would you team up with to take down the hordes of
Good question. Fer a national band, I’d team up with Motorhead because Lemmy is more than human t’ begin with. I’m sure ‘ee would come through th’ zombie wars still smilin’ an’ stinkin’ like Jack Daniels. Locally, I’d go with Dethlehem. Them landlubbers be strapped fer bear at all times plus they got magic on their side. I’ve also heard that on occasions when Dethlehem does cry out fer magic, ye can actually feel it dancin’ in th’ light. So there’s that.
-What is your current touring vehicle and what modifications would you do to make it zombie proof?
Our ship, the Santa Sangre? She be a fine vessel wot runs straight an’ true. Don’t really ‘ave t’ do nuthin’ t’ make ‘er sound against th’ livin’ dead. More cannons? A good ship can always use more cannons, whether there be zombies or not. How about a bottomless rum barrel? Wait, I got it… A cannon wot fires endless rum directly inta me stomach. Amazin’!! I need t’ catch me breath. Thinkin’ ‘bout that rum cannon made me head start t’ swim.
-If your band was in a zombie movie, which character would each of your band members play? (This will give you some ideas: http://www.cracked.com/article/164_6-characters-who-show-up-in-every-zombie-movie/ )
Ye know that character wot snaps an’ goes all ape-crazy tryin’ t’ kill everythin’ in a kind o’ berserker rage an’ ends up destroyin’ a bunch o’ zombies as well as ‘imself? I feel safe in sayin’ that’s how every member o’ me crew is goin t’ go out. In a ragin’ blaze o’ screamin’ glory. Just like we come inta this world. It’s poetic, really.
-Which of your songs would you dedicate to the zombies? How about the survivors?
T’ th’ zombies, “Th’ Drinkin’ an’ Fightin’ Song”. T’ th survivors, also “Th’ Drinkin’ an’ Fightin’ Song”. In both cases, it tells ‘em wots comin’ next.
-Who would you like to see eaten by zombies?
The Bloody Seamen ‘ave a loooong list o’ enemies t’ whom we wish death an’ misery on a daily basis. T’ any swabs wot find themselves on said list, them bein’ gnawed by zombies would be just fine with us. Oh, an’ the people wot made “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”. That movie was a hunk of shite!! Just downright disgusting.
The Bloody Seamen will be performing this Saturday at 6pm at Zombiefest in West End Village. For more information on the event visit the Zombiefest 2012 Facebook Page